“Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.”
― Shel Silverstein

  As a parent of a child with special needs for only a short time I have already encountered those that discount our Sam's capabilities.  If you have a child with special needs you have encountered this also, if you have not yet..unfortunately you will.  I found the quote above and I say it to myself, I read it when I am discouraged and I say it to my sweet boy.  Together we will experience those that will discount our abilities and the abilities of our children and we must push it aside.  We must know that at the end of the day our child's diagnosis does not define them, that the assessment they just received is not final, not always correct and not all encompassing.   We must know that we have a powerful, loving and sovereign God that can make ANYTHING be for our children.  We, as parents, are our child's most powerful voice and influence and although Sam has never used his voice to speak to me, I see the love on his face and the fight in his eyes.  His eyes say to me, thank you for fighting for me, loving me and always believing that I am capable.  If you are sitting there and reading this in a dark and discouraged place, please know that you are not alone, stop reading those developmental checklist e-mails, utilize the "unsubscribe" feature on your facebook page if it makes you breakdown to read about how your friends kid is talking, walking, pretending...whatever! You can check in on them when you feel ready. Surround yourself with positive things for your child.  Focus on each day one at a time, find a community that appreciates your child's accomplishments and can say "me too", this is just as important as giving your child the therapy they need! I promise you, I was lost until I found my community and I will always owe them a GREAT debt.  Remember, Anything can be for your child and have hope in your heart.

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Deep Breath

Pulling tugging yelling squealing jumping pushing crying running screaming falling touching hugging.... 
(Deep breath)
"What do you want?"
Strained and close to tears
I'm sweating trying to hold in my anger
Just a child..my child..our child.I shake my fist to God in my head..
screaming out from the inside
Why? Why did you take his words?
Don't say, don't let them know sometimes you hate it
That Autism is a dirty word
A hated fool..an unwelcome chain on my child
Don't break down
Don't give up
Don't lose hope
One day you'll hear "mama"
One day you'll hear "I love you"
We will beat this
He will beat this
I will never leave him
Never hurt him
(Deep Breath)
Come here, let me hold you sweet boy
I will pull you
The wild things can't have you!
I am here waiting
Here waiting for you
Here waiting for you
Here waiting for.......you.
(Deep breath)



This is a Poem that I wrote to describe the dark side of autism for me. We have days like this that are difficult and frustrating but we also have so many other days that are beautiful, happy, encouraging and in both cases full of God. Even when I want to ask God why and shake my fist at him, he loves me and he has a plan for Sam and our family. I think it is SO important to grieve, to cry, to feel anger and frustration, to say it isn't fair and then take a deep breath and move on. Autism isn't always pretty and I wish that Sam didn't have to struggle with it, so we will fight it, always and I will love him always. I will feel lucky that Sam just has autism, I will feel lucky that I simply have my Sam. So I extend these words to those that live here in this place with us..to those that feel alone or discouraged. It's okay to feel angry and cry..so do it, but don't forget to see the good you have and most of all NEVER forget to fight and to breath..the exhale is coming.