Mama Loves You Sam

This morning I buckled Sam in his car seat and talked with him as I always do.."Mama loves you Sam, you love Mama too huh" and then I kiss his little forehead and get in the car to drive to his new school.  I talk to him on the way pointing things out, telling him he's going to have a fun day and see his teacher and his new friends.  He looks out the window and back at me as I talk to him.  I start singing one of his silly Yo Gabba Gabba songs and that always gets a smile.  We pull-up to the school and get in the carpool line and as soon as we stop Sam makes his little sad face and starts crying.  I hate it like any other Mom, because I don't want to see my baby cry.  So I tell him, it's okay baby "Mama loves you Sam, you love Mama too huh" and I scoot my seat back, unbuckle him and hold him.  (We get there about 20 minutes early so that we don't have to sit in the carpool line that gets wrapped around the block.)  I hold him and  he stops crying, pulls my face with his little hands and gives me a kiss.  He has the best little kisses and hugs.  I say "I love you my Sam, you love Mama too huh".  I have imagined his voice in my head saying I love you Mama..I have dreamt of him talking and using REAL words. You see Sam babbles, he says Mama, Dada, Daddy & Odie and a variety of non-purposeful sounds but he has never spoken to me, he has never told me how he is feeling, if thinks something is great or fun, sad or scary... but one day he will.  One day he will interrupt me from saying "you love Mama too huh" and he will say I love you Mama and It will be amazing. So for now... Mama loves you Sam and you love Mama too huh.

LIGHT IT UP BLUE

On the evenings of April 1 and 2, 2011, prominent buildings across North America and the world — including the Empire State Building in New York City and the CN Tower in Toronto, Canada — will turn their lights blue to raise awareness for autism and to commemorate World Autism Awareness Day on Saturday, April 2.
We’re aiming to light the world blue all throughout April — city by city, town by town — by taking action to raise autism awareness in our communities.

What you can do to Light It Up Blue

• Wear blue clothing or your Autism Speaks puzzle piece, and encourage your coworkers to do the same. Sign Up
• Light your house up blue by putting blue light bulbs in any outdoor fixtures. Sign Up
• Raise awareness for Autism online or spread the word about Light It Up Blue.

Shop the Light It Up Blue online catalog

World Autism Awareness Day

The fourth annual World Autism Awareness Day is on April 2. People, schools, organizations, and companies are hosting events around the world.
Click here to find out more

Normal

Sam started preschool today and I have to say it went better than expected. My husband and I walked him into class and he cried so much I thought I was going to breakdown right then and there but we mustered up the courage to trust his new teacher, leave the classroom and make our way home.    Thank God for Sam's teacher calling me an hour later to let me know that not only had Sam stopped crying but she had gotten some pictures of him with a smile on his sweet little face.  Ah, relief...we made it through the first day...Sam made it through the first day.  There wasn't some scary kid with a big stick waiting to beat him up or make fun of him, the teacher was so sweet and understanding and it was just all so...normal.  I am so thankful for that, I don't feel normal most days so I'll take what I can get.  I'm so proud of you my Sam, you're doing it and Mama's okay...after all I should have known you would be okay..you always are. I love you sweet boy.